He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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