So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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