if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
