So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
