operation have a gay friend backfired
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
