Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Randomize
