She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
