Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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