she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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