I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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