Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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