we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
