He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
