i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
