break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.