capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.