I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom