All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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