the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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