Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
