I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
