...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
