shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
