She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
