There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I look better un-naked...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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