Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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