no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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