i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
