I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
