Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
