I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
operation harelip BJ is a go
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
