i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize