you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
