I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
