Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
