brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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