Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
