Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
