have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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