Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
