yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC