lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?