Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.