Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.

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  (248): Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick. http://tfl.nu/6zdd
  Replies (16) Good night (1750) Bad night (629)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

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  (847): Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference http://tfl.nu/ny65
  Replies (4) Good night (1541) Bad night (993)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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  (205): Why does Corona taste like a burp? http://tfl.nu/2bn9
  Replies (39) Good night (725) Bad night (3741)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.

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  (904): I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale. http://tfl.nu/rt3p
  Replies (12) Good night (4545) Bad night (1378)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

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  (708): having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling http://tfl.nu/2wgp
  Replies (8) Good night (3231) Bad night (1265)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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  (662): I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics http://tfl.nu/lc06
  Replies (9) Good night (1428) Bad night (3346)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense

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  (207): My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense http://tfl.nu/p3xl
  Replies (11) Good night (6448) Bad night (1146)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

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  (251): I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party http://tfl.nu/8yh5
  Replies (12) Good night (3920) Bad night (1266)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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  (214): He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am. http://tfl.nu/wn9t
  Replies (4) Good night (2258) Bad night (846)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed

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  (630): the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed http://tfl.nu/eaof
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (1735)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.

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  (724): He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right. http://tfl.nu/6rqx
  Replies (7) Good night (707) Bad night (1274)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.

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  (907): When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President. http://tfl.nu/0joq
  Replies (13) Good night (1725) Bad night (638)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.

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  (850): After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up. http://tfl.nu/jmm0
  Replies (0) Good night (746) Bad night (413)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.

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  (902): Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom. http://tfl.nu/6cke
  Replies (9) Good night (1303) Bad night (516)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.

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  (228): Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high. http://tfl.nu/9q6n
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (469)

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