I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
soo... how was my night?
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