found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
