the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
