u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
