we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
