dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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