Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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