he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have fence marks all over my body
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
