no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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