just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
