so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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