two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
