I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
