only if we run a train.
done.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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