im having a threesome with these popsicles
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
