Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
vagina is talking i cant
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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