is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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